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Seven Ways to Maintain Personal Power
in the Presence of your Boss
by Mary Zabolio McGrath, Ph.D.,
professional speaker/author
That sinking feeling....a lump in your throat....anxiety rising within....a desire to leave the room...wanting to fold up inside...Can you relate to any of these feeling before going into your boss’s office? Do they fit for you as you await her comments on your latest proposal? Do you experience any of these symptoms the night before meeting him for a job evaluation?
Have you ever let yourself gradually shrink in front of your boss? Have you hidden your talents in the workplace due to the structural hierarchy of the office or human service organization? Does the culture of your organization limit your personal growth?
Once a former boss left for a week to attend an event. During that time I noticed myself making decisions more freely and comfortably. I moved within a broader range of abilities and skills with more confidence. I went ahead and did things without checking them out like I had before. In truth I had a greater grip on my own competence and intelligence. In a sense I was operating in a different work system as well. I resolved then and there to keep myself that this level of operation. Wow! I was on course and moving forward!
Now that I had the momentum I wanted to keep it going. Upon my boss’s return I strengthened this resolve. This was the way to go at work. Yet within twenty four hours my new level of personal power began to leak out! Before long I returned emotionally to my spot determined by rank. I was back where I was before the boss left. I felt less powerful and began operating according to established external parameters instead of leading from my instincts and capabilities. What had happened? How could one person diminish me just by being back on the premises? Or was it more about me than about them?
This gave me pause to regroup and come up with ways to get back up there in maintaining more personal power in the workplace. The following are examples of my own discoveries of how to build this power when around the boss.
- Work laterally - Positioning oneself in competition with the boss for power is a futile effort. Instead, gain influence with peers. Offer support and help to your coworkers and it will come back to you. Build coalitions at your level and, as in politics, realize that power is in numbers. You will see yourself as part of a larger alliance working in a cooperative mode, moving forward constructively together. Redirection of energy can influence the dynamics of a work system.
- Gain skills and knowledge - The more you know, the more you accomplish and the more you will be able to project yourself as capable and competent. People on the job know the strengths of their coworkers. Demonstrating competence by sharing your information and skills benefits all and reinforces your influence. Applied learning fuels the fire and passion for more professional growth.
- Speak up at meetings - Feel free to ask for clarification. Add information and ideas when appropriate. Ask relevant questions. Not only will your power show, but you will be influencing outcomes and benefiting your entire work team as well. Coworkers know where you stand when you express your thoughts and ideas in a straightforward and respectful manner. Your boss will see your integrity and congruence as well. Respect breeds respect. Your attitude will model to others in the organization as your positive influence spreads.
- Self talk - Repeat formula phrases to maintain a steady sense of emotional confidence. For example, “ I have a broad range of job capabilities.” , “ I am a peaceful and powerful team member.” “My contributions to this company are valuable.” “I find meaning and satisfaction while assisting others in my workplace.” Such thoughts challenge feelings of discomfort and uncertainty. Such sentences build your direction of stability and certainty.
- Remember compliments from the past - Whether from previous jobs or former employers or coworkers, internal replay of strengths and gifts affirmed by others feeds the fire to continue in that direction. Saving and rereading old notes and e-mails showing you appreciation keeps you in touch with a sense of being valued. You can start the cycle going in the work place by simple statements of appreciation or by simply sending a smile across the conference table.
- Realize your giftedness - Seeking outside approval just for the sake of gaining approval is a futile quest. Instead seek internal refuge in your own skills and abilities. Although it is encouraging to receive compliments from others, you cannot determine their frequency. You cannot control their content. When you review your own gifts, you create the content of the affirmations and rate of their arrival. Who better than you can bring one in just in time?
- Breathe and regroup - If your employer sets a tone that negates your ideas or blocks a positive thrust in your work efforts - pause - breathe - and tune in to your Higher Power. Your next action step may be a beneficial and inspired surprise!
Perhaps you will find yourself in a new work setting. When leaving behind a challenging boss, take the opportunity to change any former work behavior that has hindered personal growth. Trying new ways of approaching work challenges just may increase personal dignity and enhance inner freedom in your new situation.
However, changing bosses may not always be an immediate option. Try these strategies to help maintain a positive and powerful manner in your present workplace. Take this route to contribute to the health of your organization and to add certitude and confidence to your professional asset column.
Mary Z. McGrath, Ph.D. works with schools, organizations and parents who support wellness and the family’s potential. She offers presentations through Reflections Resources, Ltd.
Phone: 952-894-7707 Fax: 952-890-3229
E-Mail: info@maryzmcgrath.com
"Self-care keeps you there!"
Permission granted to download and reprint with inclusion of above contact information.
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