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Consolidating for Caregivers -
Five Ways to Be Efficient and Effective
While Giving Care
by Mary Z. McGrath, Ph.D.
Caregivers for adults with medical challenges experience tugs and pulls in multiple directions. New duties, whether resulting from a family member’s sudden onset illness or gradual decline, make more and more demands to the daily life of the caregiver.
A caregiver, who already filled their “previous life” with family and career, compounds their duties by taking on yet another role when a parent has a sudden stroke. Or overnight they add more momentum to their mix of responsibilities when a spouse becomes incapacitated from accident or illness. Eventually the question surfaces - “How do I fit it all in?”
As caregivers traverse roles they may feel like they are “living for two”. This sounds like a slogan in a housing development add, yet this concrete challenge comes complete with continuous questions. Surprises subvert plans at every turn as the need for flexibility grows greater than ever before.
Realizing that multiple responsibilities reroute them consistently, the next thought passing through the minds of caregivers might sound something like this - “Something has to give. What will it be?” They further wonder, “Can I cover all the bases of work and family and still have time for me? How do I maintain my goals- professional or personal? Where do I go from here?”
Their initial challenge is to find more time to accomplish the basics of home and work. The key in the confusion is to find balance by consolidating activities and situations whenever possible.
Changing and reordering one’s life to accommodate and assist a family member in need of support takes selective planning. Following are five ways to consolidate in order to live more efficiently and effectively.
- Tighten the belt financially - When medical expenses increase and time on the job decreases it’s worth a look to determine how to revamp financial flow. How do you save money through lifestyle change? Consolidate to one car instead of two? Divest of the lake home to cut expenses and save time spent on upkeep? Move from the neighborhood home to a town house, senior living setting, apartment or condominium complex? Go on one insurance policy? Find a way to work more flexible hours? Drive less by planning errands and outings ahead of time?
- Keep things in a predictable spot - Preoccupation with multiple crises coupled with concerns for the well-being of another, brings confusion and chaos. Whether you share living space with the person you support or live separately, gradual increase to more systematic living eases the flow of daily life. Order benefits the caregiver seeking corners to cut and creates a sense of security in the life of the recipient .
Reorganizing drawers, closets and cupboards helps put predictability into the whirlwind of doctor appointments, runs to the pharmacy and assistance with therapeutic exercises. Reduction of excess and relocation of frequently used items enhances ease in accessibility, supports focus and improves management of routine functions.
- Focus your time and talent - Include their needs whenever they blend with the your priorities and those of other family member. This might mean selecting the same medical care providers and scheduling appointments during the same hour to save a trip. When you go to the dry cleaners, grocery store or do other routine errands, plan for ways to meet their needs at the same time. Is their a reliable pharmacy on the way to the soccer field? Would they enjoy an outing to the library while you assist your child in finding resource material for a science project?
Consider your professional skills, whether they be communication, organization or marketing. Ask yourself how they transfer into your present role as caregiver. It could come about by creating a prioritized agenda for meetings with medical professionals. These skills might emerge at appointments as you support the individual who, due to their present medical status, cannot act effectively on their own behalf. Be aware of where and when the nexus emerges and repeat the wining pattern.
As the role of caregiver becomes more familiar, realize ways your function as an advocate enhances sensitivity and astuteness in your professional life . Notice how the skills and new found attitudes traverse between your role in the workplace and in and your role as caregiver. Watch and see more self confidence emerge in both settings due to transfer of newly learned life experience “in between jobs”.
- Focus the field of activity - Perhaps at one point you ran your life with more spontaneity. Now former patterns of operation and recreation become impossible due to time constraints and the importance of fairly consistent proximity to the recipient of your care.
How do you rearrange your way of operating? How do you change your lifestyle patterns? Consider what you and your recipient both enjoy. Do you share a common appreciation for rides in the country? A movie? Reading the Sunday paper? Cooking an ethnic dinner? Perhaps you can rearrange roles in a joint effort to open opportunity for both of you. How can you find ways to maximize their skills as you learn new planning and organizational behaviors? Can you work on your laptop while they participate in a class or recreational activity in the community? Can you set up simultaneous exercise experiences for both of you at your health club? Creative thinking and application of organizational skills open the way to new and beneficial daily plans for both caregiver and recipient.
- Find meaning in the ordinary - Perhaps in the process of reducing and downsizing the scope of life you both knew before the illness, new awareness of the present moment will emerge. What new things do you see that have been there all the time? What can you do at this new pace to mutually enhance your lives? Notice the subtleties of color in the sunset? Savor the scent of flowers in the yard? Watch chickadees chatter at the feeder? Value an e-mail from a distant relative or encouraging friend? Focus on offering empathy and support to others experiencing life challenges? When the world grows slower and simpler it can also be be lived with more depth and meaning.
Compacting life brings order and focus to the lives of both the caregiver and receptor. Planful regrouping reroutes days into more effective and solid situations. Tandem benefits arise from consolidation of routines, routes and rejoicing. To the surprise of both of you, benefits beyond simple efficiency emerge.
Mary Z. McGrath, Ph.D., speaker and author, works with organizations, schools and parents who support wellness and the family’s potential.
Mary can be reached at info@maryzmcgrath.com
This article first appeared in Grandparent Times, August/September, 2004.
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This article is for site viewing only - not for reprinting.
Mary Z. McGrath, Ph.D., speaker, writer and caregiver, works with schools, organizations and parents who support wellness and the family’s potential. Check www.maryzmcgrath,com for more information.
E-mail: info@maryzmcgrath.com
Website: http://www.maryzmcgrath.com
Ph: 952-894-7707
Fax: 952-890-3229.
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