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The Comfort and Companionship of a Candle
by Mary Z. McGrath, Ph.D.
Once the word got out in October that we would be facing a dramatic change in the weather, something within moved me to light the candle on the kitchen island. Sure, candles are fine all year around, but perhaps for me and for you, reaching for the comfort of a candle during this seasonal transition represented something. Perhaps in doing this simple action, I knew somewhere inside that the calm a candle offers would help ease my spirit in wake of the onset of snow and the challenges of seasonal change ahead.
So why is it that we keep candles in our homes? What does a simple cylinder of wax bring to us that nothing else can? When change and challenge occurs, what does and candle do for us? I believe that a candle, with its soft yet persistent flame, lends comfort and companionship, bringing a symbol of hope and peace in dark and changing times.
How would one derive comfort from a mere candle? By lighting a candle, warmth immediately begins to radiate from it. One may need to move very close to it in order to feel that warmth, but it is there all the same. When life seems stagnant, the dance of the flame of a candle sends the message that more is to come. All is not at an impasse or in a holding pattern forever. Upon close observation, a certain subtle rhythm emerges as a candle moves in a continuous motion. Yes, life too has a subtle rhythm and movement upon which one can rely.
Once that is observed and one senses and accepts the pattern in the flame of a candle, it is easy to realize too how fragile that light may be. A draft from passing near it, a slight bit of breeze and a candle can flicker, potentially losing light. People can be fragile as well, when the winds of change from life transitions threaten to push them from their paths. Things can alter gradually and suddenly. The candle tells us that it may need to be lit again and again, when stormy winds from some of life’s seasons threaten equilibrium. Yet, even if the light flickers, dims and goes out, a candle can be lit again and its flame will continue sending out its symbolic comfort.
Some candles have been intentionally scented to create an atmosphere in the home. Perhaps certain scents connect the memory with past experiences of comfort and companionship. Think back to what vanilla, mint, cinnamon and evergreen mean to you.
How can a simple stick, thin or thick, made from wax provide companionship? By the nature of a flame’s flow and movement, it candles seem to provide a sense of presence. As in human relationships, there is an ebbing and a brightening, a diminishing and a warming.
The flame of a candle signals a call to attention. Time to focus on our thoughts, dreams, prayers and hopes. It draws us outward to itself and allows us to go inward to memories and associations. A candle may call us to a sense of church, the memory of a birthday celebration or intimate dinner. The candle provides universal and personal connection to circumstances and events.
When the sun sets in the west and our dwelling takes on a dark caste, lighting a candle brings about moving silhouettes on the walls. When not in the presence of others, a candle asserts that they are there, on their way, a part of later or tomorrow. A candle creates continuity between now and then, today and tomorrow, this time and next time.
When you light your next candle, may it help you with current transitions and help you transcend any gaps in the moment. May you find a steady companion in a candle to help you realize the gifts of courage and hope within your heart.
Mary Z. McGrath, Ph.D., speaker and author of Teachers in Transition: Growing Forward Through Retirement and other publications, sometimes chooses to write in the company of a candle. Her web site, www.maryzmcgrath.com offers more information.
Reprints:
As seen in Stressfree Living Magazine, November, 2006.
Article cannot be reproduced without written permission from Stressfree Living Magazine
www.stressfreeliving.org
Mary Z. McGrath, Ph.D., speaker, writer and caregiver, works with schools, organizations and parents who support wellness and the family’s potential. Check www.maryzmcgrath,com for more information.
E-mail: info@maryzmcgrath.com
Website: http://www.maryzmcgrath.com
Ph: 952-894-7707
Fax: 952-890-3229.
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